Running
by TheChosen3.14159
Summary: "I hate you." Jacob says in reply and Edward does not have to read his mind to know he is not being completely honest. Edward whispers his next words directly into Jacob's ear. "Then why are you still here?" Edward/Jacob slash
1. Failing Strength

Running

Chapter 1: "Failing Strength"

* * *

_**Just do it!**_ Edward thought furiously at himself. _J__**ust do it. Right now. She **_**wants**_** you to do it. It would only take one bite-the space of a moment, and she would be yours, forever. **_

_Stop it_, Edward thought to himself calmly. _You cannot do that._

_**Why not? Who would stop you? She's already a part of the family…and she **_**wants **_**it!**_

_She's only seventeen, she does not know _what_ she wants. _

**You're**_** only seventeen! And you know**_** exactly**_** what you want! You want to lean in, lick your way down her neck and to place a kiss on her pulse point. You want to hear and feel the warm blood rushing through her veins. Faster, harder. You want to pull back your lips, drag your teeth across her flesh. You want to hear her breath hitch. **_

_NO! I could never do that to her! I could never condemn her to an existence like mine!_

_**And you want to bite. You want her delicious blood gushing into your mouth, running down your throat and filling you, strengthening you, so sweet you know you will never stop.**_

_No._

_**You want her forever.**_

_No, not like that..._

_**You want-**_

"Edward?"

He came back to himself with a violent jolt, as if he had fallen from a great height to land in Bella's bed with her head against his chest. Though he didn't need the air, he took a few deep breaths. The action would have been calming if the air had not been so saturated with Bella's irresistible scent. He feels the venom rushing into his mouth and nearly gags.

_God, he had been so close to-what if he actually-_With a herculean effort Edward dragged himself outside of his mental battle and tried to focus on the thread of the conversation.

"I'm sorry, I was (_**planning to damn you to eternal hell**_) distracted. What were you saying?"

"You kinda proved my point. I was just saying that you feel a thousand miles away." Bella looks up at him with such adoration and concern that makes Edward feels sick. What could he have done, he wonders, to deserve someone who cares so much about him?

"I suppose I just have a lot on my mind." Bella thinks he's referring to the attacks in Seattle and he lets her.

"You're eyes are getting really dark. Maybe it's time for a hunting trip?" Bella suggests.

Edward tries a smile, but it falters halfway when he thinks of how close he was to hunting without even leaving the room…_I need to get out of here. Now._

"Maybe it is." he replies, gently extricating himself from the bed and moving to the window slightly faster than human speed would allow.

"What? Right now?" Bella asks, pouting.

"No," he says and that half-smile again flickers across his face. "I'm just going to take a walk. Get some fresh air."

Bella nods and sighs.

"I'll see you in the morning," Edward says. Bella's goodbye has barely left her lips before he's gone; dropping out of the window and into the darkness.

Jacob runs. He runs without a destination, without any real beginning or end. He runs because this is the only time he feels truly free.

Free from the unintentional intrusions of his pack mates; free from their pity. Free from the bitter hatred of the Cullens, his most special species of hate reserved, of course, for Edward. Free from the terrible leaping, dropping sensation he feels whenever he thinks about Bella. And Jacob hopes that one day, if he simply runs fast enough, he will be free from himself completely. Free to leave Jacob behind and keep running.

Now, in his wolf form, the forest thrums around him and inside him. He feels connected to every rock and tree and creature, even as they all fly by him, fast enough to blend into a blur of greens and browns and blacks. Here and now, Jacob is just one miniscule part of the transcendent ebb and flow of life.

His thoughts are simpler in wolf form. More like rapid impressions of images and sensations than fully formed ideas. He is consumed by the now. The wolf lives only in the present, another way he is free.

The wolf senses a doe a short ways away and changes course accordingly. Jacob lets it. It would feel nice to kill_ something_ tonight.

He gains steadily on the doe. Though he is much faster in wolf form, he is not quite as agile. The deer frantically changes direction, hoping to shake Jacob. He growls in anticipation. So close. A few more bounds and-

Jacob yelps in surprise and momentary pain as something slams into him at speed, knocking the breath from his lungs. A very cold, very hard something. And what is that god awful smell? Then it clicks. A leech. _The_ leech.

* * *

Edward had lost track of where exactly he was. He knew the forest well by now, every hidden path and clearing. He could find his way when he was ready. Originally, he had planned to return to his home and his family, but with the state his mind was in, that idea seemed equal parts repulsing and amusing. His walk became a run, then a sprint in no particular direction, merely away. He could not face his family, now. He could barely face himself.

_**Why can't you just turn her already? Are you really too weak to take what you want? What both of you want?**_

_I am not weak! She does not want this curse. She cannot! _

_**She is so fragile, so tenuous, so mortal. If you do not turn her, she will die. Today, tomorrow, decades from now…Will you watch her suffer and slip away when you could save her? When you could live together and love each other for eternity?**_

_This? This is not living! This is existing. This is continuing. I could not condemn her to this, she would hate me!_

_**Or would you hate yourself?**_

_What?_

_**What if she changed? What if she was different when her heart stopped and her skin turned to stone? What if in trying to keep Bella forever, you lost her? What if-**_

His forward momentum was suddenly and decisively halted by something. A large, furry, russet something.

* * *

_Not you. Not now. Not when I just want _to kill_ something_. His steady growling fills the clearing where they have collided.

"You're welcome to try it, pup." Edward taunts. Knowing Bella would be torn apart to see them fighting and not caring. It scares him that he is not particularly bothered about how Bella would feel. He's been scaring himself a lot lately.

Edwards own growls add a counterpoint to their primal harmony. They begin to stalk in circles, Edward more animal than man probing with his mind, Jacob with his senses.

Jacob pounces first, leaping across their clearing with force and speed with the intention of clawing the _hell_ out of the bloodsucker. He wants to make him feel an iota of the agony Edward caused him, taking Bella. He does not get the chance as Edward deflects him, flipping him up and over the leech using his momentum to send him crashing into a very large, very solid Redwood. Jacob cannot help the pained yelp that leaves his throat as he feels a few ribs crack.

They've already started healing by the time Jacob lands on the forest floor, facing the leech who has the audacity to smirk at him.

Jacob feints this time, changing direction before even he himself is aware of it. He manages to catch Edward off guard and lands on top of him long enough to slash his claws down the leech's face, neck and chest. There are scratches at least. Long and deep. But there is no blood. Jacob wonders if the vampire can even feel pain at all.

Edward almost laughs when this thought touches his mind. "You have no idea," he says aloud. Edward flings Jacob across the clearing with his hands and, with super-human speed, is on the other side to catch him, throw him down, and pin him by his neck. The wolf wriggles and squirms at this, sending the vampire flying with a two-legged kick.

They continue on like this for what might be minutes or hours. Kicking, slashing, ripping, biting, growling. Each knows that the other will do no real damage to the other and neither cares. Ultimately, Edward has the better stamina and when the russet wolf's attacks lose speed and accuracy, the vampire pins him with both arms on the wolf's forelegs. Edward should leave now, he knows. But he feels like he is done running for tonight.

The russet wolf's eyes are feral, glowing with inhuman emotions. He seems to lose a battle with himself, and something _gives_ in the set of his spine and in his eyes. Righteous fury and jealousy give way to exhaustion. One moment, he was a top a huge panting russet wolf, and the next he was a straddling a much smaller boy. Jacob is panting and glaring, but not struggling.

"What are you doing, leech?" he spits out.

Without moving, Edward replies, "I am not sure."

"Well, could you—I dunno- stop?" Jacob makes a token attempt at escape.

"Do you want me to?" It is an odd question, he should already know the answer, but it feels like the right one to ask.

He hears two answers. "Yes!" _No_. One from Jacob's mouth and one from his mind. Edward wonders at the discrepancy.

Some of this curiosity must show for Jacob yells, "Get out of my head!"

"I could stop reading your mind, but you would still be thinking about me. Why?"

"Because you're crushing me!"

"Ah," is Edward's eloquent reply as he shifts some of his weight off of the boy and to the forest floor beneath him. In a distant corner of his mind, he thinks that it's nice to not worry about literally crushing Jacob beneath him. With Bella on the other hand…

_What the hell? Does this leech have no concept of personal space? What is he doing here? Why doesn't he leave? Hell, why don't _I_ leave? _

"Indeed, Jacob. Why don't you?"

"I…" His traitorous mind continues. _I don't want to leave. This feels—_Jacob clamps down on this train of thought. Grimacing when he think of how much Edward must have heard.

"Why don't _you_ leave? You hate me, remember?"

"Not really. You have some…(_lack of control physical and mental control, immaturity_) distasteful qualities. But I would not say I hate you." Jacob's only crime is loving Bella too much, and Edward is guilty of that himself, is he not?

"I hate you." Jacob says in reply and Edward does not have to read his mind to know he is not being completely honest.

Edward leans forward and down, though there is really no need. The forest is almost eerily silent and Jacob has excellent hearing. For dramatic effect then, Edward whispers his next words directly into Jacob's ear. "Then why are you still here?"

Edward does not know precisely what he expects Jacob to do or say, but the shudder that runs down his spine catches him completely off guard.

* * *

So that's part one. Review if you want a part two! Or even if you don't! Just review!


	2. Crossing Lines

Running

Chapter Two: **Crossing Lines**

Previously:

_For dramatic effect then, Edward whispers his next words directly into Jacob's ear. "Then why are you still here?"_

_Edward does not know precisely what he expects Jacob to do or say, but the shudder that runs down his spine catches him completely off guard._

Jacob's thoughts are muddled-a rapid stream of half-formed notions and emotions. Edward wonders if Jacob always thinks this way, or if the phenomenon is a hold-over from his recent transformation. Edward can't figure out what Jacob's thinking, perhaps because Jacob himself does not know. Jacob is deeply conflicted; a state of mind Edward is unfortunately familiar with. An unexpected wave of empathy washes over Edward at this thought. The vampire always thought the wolf saw the world in black and white, what then could Jacob be so unsure about.

Edward asks as much. Jacob's guards are just a bit too late in going up and Edward hears, _Whether to kiss you or kill you—_

Edward does not know what compels him (he is tempted to blame that traitorous "other" inside his head) but he tilts his head and makes the decision for Jacob. With the taste of Jacob's mouth and the feel of his full lips against his own, Edward is suddenly acutely aware of how warm and solid and strong Jacob's body is beneath him, of how nice it is to want something and simply take it, and of how Jacob does not seem to be struggling.

He pulls back slightly and opens his eyes, unaware that he had closed them, searching for a reaction. Jacob's eyes are still shut, his eyelashes fanning his high cheekbones. Jacob's brows furrow, and his eyelids twitch but remain shut. Jacob lifts a hand to Edward's arm, his shoulder, across his neck and to his face. He leaves his hand there, wanting assurance that Edward his still there, yet unwilling to open his eyes.

Opening his eyes would make everything too real. If Jacob opens his eyes now, he will have to see Edward, smirking or sneering. Disgusted no doubt. And who could blame him? Jacob is repulsed with _himself_. How did he let this happen? What is he going to do now? Why didn't he just leave when he had the chance?

From somewhere inside him, he hears the answer echoing in his mind. _Because you wanted an escape, however brief or unorthodox, you wanted a break from being strong, from hiding your emotions from everyone including yourself. You wanted to be wanted. You wanted to surrender._

Jacob cringes inwardly at how weak his thoughts sound, even to himself. _God, I sound like some trashy novel._

With his face hovering scant inches above Jacob's, Edward smiles and chuckles. The wolf feels his stomach flip.

"You do. But I like it." Emboldened by another mad rush of an emotion that Edward cannot name after ninety years on Earth, Edward leans down to kiss Jacob again. When Jacob's lips press tentatively back against his, Edward feels a wave of warmth suffuse him. For the first time in nearly seventy years, he does not feel cold. "If you start using sordid euphemisms, though, I'll be forced to start skimming."

Jacob looks up at him, summoning the presence of mind to make his question clear, plainly in his eyes and mind if not aloud.

Edward receives this as a wordless interrogative. It is "what" and "why" and "how" at the same time. Edward sighs and lowers his head to the meeting of Jacob's neck and chest, listening to the hammering heartbeat there. "I do not know," he replies to the unasked question. "And I really do not want to think about it." He kisses down Jacob's collar bone, across his left pectoral and down lower to take a nipple into his mouth. The sensation of Edward's chilled mouth on Jacob's over-heated skin causes him to buck violently, which causes the corner of Edward's mouth to quirk slightly.

With a predatory gleam in his eye, Edward releases Jacob's nipple to ask, "Do you want me to stop?"

Jacob's inarticulate groan and the rolling of his hips is all the answer Edward needs, although he is not averse to hearing the stream of _Oh no. Oh God, no. Don't stop. Please, don't stop, please don't stop_ running through Jacob's head.

For reasons Edward does not deign to explore at the moment, he obliges and begins to slowly lick his way lower…

Author's Note: Please review! Not sure where to go with this…


	3. Full Speed Ahead

Chapter 3: **Full Speed Ahead**

Previously:

_Edward releases Jacob's nipple to ask, "Do you want me to stop?"_

_Jacob's inarticulate groan and the rolling of his hips is all the answer Edward needs, although he is not averse to hearing the stream of _Oh no. Oh God, no. Don't stop. Please, don't stop, please don't stop _running through Jacob's head._

_For reasons Edward does not deign to explore at the moment, he obliges and begins to slowly lick his way lower…_

* * *

Under the strain of his first heartbreak, transforming into a werewolf, and all of the associated teenage angst, Jacob Black is quite certain that he has lost his mind. He knows this for several reasons: 1) He is currently lying on the forest floor under Edward Cullen, 2) he is currently naked, 3) his self-professed mortal enemy is currently licking his way down Jacob's chest, and 4) Jacob _likes_ it.

Jacob's train of thought causes Edward to chuckle against the flesh of his lower stomach, a sensation which sends intriguing tendrils of vibration spiraling downward and causes Jacob to add a number 5 to his list—Edward Cullen just chuckled. Again

Edward nips at the flesh over the slight jut of Jacob's hip bone with the air of one marking their place in an interesting book they've been momentarily distracted from. He lifts his head minutely to meet Jacob's eye but finds that the shifter's eyes are resolutely shut. Jacob has to fight the urge to force Edward's head back down, and then lower still-has to bite his tongue to keep from begging. _What's the count up to, now? _Jacob wonders.

"Seven," Edward responds. "You are right, of course. You are completely, unavoidably, irrevocably, certifiably insane." Edward emphasizes each qualifier with a kiss, inching his way up Jacob's inner thigh, pointedly ignoring the very real evidence of what Edward is doing to Jacob.

Jacob whimpers.

Edward continues. "But then, I suppose, I must be as well." He pulls up and looks away in no particular direction, as if lost in thought.

Jacob growls.

When Edward returns his attention to him, his nearly black eyes locking onto Jacob's amber brown, Jacob thinks he understands what that doe he was chasing must have felt like. Being stalked, being hunted down, being trapped. Edward's smile is somehow predatory and confident and radiant and devious all at once.

Jacob reminds himself to breathe.

"You know," Edward continues, as if the two are discussing the weather over tea, "if this is being insane…" He ducks his head, unexpectedly, to lick Jacob's member from base to tip and if Jacob hadn't already established his insanity, he would have thought he lost his mind. "…it's not so bad," Edward finishes.

Jacob makes a rumbling sound that he didn't think was possible outside of his wolf form.

He jack-knifes into a sitting position, pulling Edward's face to meet him halfway. The kiss is cool to Jacob, warm to Edward, and exhilarating to both. They duel for long moments, lips pressing insistently against each other's. Jacob's world has been reduced to _breathe _and _feel-_a sweet reprieve. Edward's tongue darts out to run along the werewolf's teeth, pausing at the tip of the canine.

Jacob gasps, pulling Edward's tongue into his mouth, and the kiss spirals up to another dizzying new level. Jacob's hands are everywhere, gliding under Edward's shirt, down the vampire's sides, upward to tangle into his hair, to pull him impossibly closer. Edward finds himself annoyed that Jacob has to bother with breathing. He wants_ more_.

Jacob sucks Edwards bottom lip between his own, then bites down and pulls away slowly.

Edward groans, long and low.

At the sound, something within Jacob snaps, and he rolls them so that the vampire is below him on his back. He kisses Edward's lips again. Once, twice, then trails nipping kisses down his jaw line and the alabaster column of his neck. Emboldened by the tiny moans Edward is trying and failing to suppress, Jacob begins unbuttoning Edward's shirt, kissing each inch of perfect flesh as it is revealed.

In an abstract, unformed way, Jacob thinks how sexy it would be if Edward undressed himself and the next moment, Edward's hands are on his, replacing them. Jacob sits back on his heels to watch, hungrily, biting his lips.

When the shirt is out of the way, Edwards hands move to his belt-buckle, but Jacob's beat his. In a few shorts seconds, the belt goes the way of Edward's shirt. Jacob undoes the button of Edward's dark-wash jeans with his teeth, and though he isn't operating with Edward's advantage, he thinks that Edward likes it by the strangled moan in his throat.

Growing increasingly impatient, Jacob strips Edward's jeans off in a single motion. Edward's surprised laugh is short-lived as Jacob surges upward to cover the vampire's mouth with his own. Their members align as their lips do and they moan into each other's mouths. They roll onto their sides; Jacob's huge left hand rubs circles into Edward's side while his right tangles itself in the vampire's unbelievably messy hair. Absently, Jacob thinks that even now, Edward's hair is incapable of looking less than perfect and Edward smiles into the kiss.

The vampire reaches his hand between them so that he holds them both in one hand. Jacob gasps loudly and his hips buck violently. Edward smiles again, and begins to stroke them slowly.

Jacob's breathing is becoming increasingly erratic; Edward can hear the werewolf's heart hammering in his chest, can hear the breath rattling through his teeth, can hear Jacob's garbled whispers of "oh" and "yeah" and "my _God_" and "don't stop".

Edward doesn't stop. His hand glides faster and faster, slick with Jacob's perspiration and their shared arousal. His once steady rhythm loses consistency as Edward loses himself in the sensations—Jacob's large, strong body, pressed flush against his, the feel of the shifter's heat sinking into his own flesh, the feel of both of them in his hand—hot and cold. Jacob is utterly lost, thrusting against Edward with wild abandon. His thoughts are no longer coherent; with his gift, all Edward hears in Jacob's head is his own name, all he sees are his own eyes.

They carry on like this for what feels like hours, then Edward pulls harder, faster still, and Jacob is gone. He shudders from head to toe, hips jerking forward violently. His eyes shut tightly as he tries unsuccessfully to hide a sound somewhere between a groan and whimper by biting Edward's shoulder.

The sensation of the wolf's teeth at his skin drives Edward over the edge as well. Edward goes without a fight, welcoming the soaring, plunging, spiraling feeling and the sweet, sweet release.

* * *

Author's Note: So, what do you think? First time writing rated M. Feedback is very much appreciated!


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